ShopDreamUp AI ArtDreamUp
Deviation Actions
I am tired of men. By that, I do not mean I am tired of heterosexual relationships, but I mean that I see and talk to too many guys everyday. The friends I talk to most frequently are male, my roomate is male, gay, and a bit obnoxious, I'm taking discrete math where I am surrounded by nerdboys and the Indian TA thinks I'm the dumb blonde of computer science, I was fighting with Eric last week (we made up, but I was really mad at him for a while there), and on Tuesdays I work on a video game with even more CS nerdboys. Plus, this week I subscribed to a bunch of video game podcasts. And of course, there aren't enough women in the game industry, not even in game journalism. So for every female voice I hear on one of those podcasts, there are 5-10 nasal nerdboy voices. Sigh. The last straw leading to this entry was my discovery of a Digipen student community on LJ. Only one member was female and one of the threads was an argument about whether vegetarianism leads to man boobs due to increased intake of phytoestrogens. (Bullshit with a tiny grain of possible truth in science but no proof in daily reality.)
I am sick of the male perspective. I am also sick of not being able to talk about my problems without the other person trying to solve them. I really miss my little sister. We talk on LJ but I wish I got to see her more often. I also really miss two of my girl friends from Japan last year-- who knows if we'll meet up again but they were great (feminine but with gender neutral or even masculine interests). Anna was always telling me she wanted to either be a boy or run away to an island of only women. I don't blame her; being a tomboy in Japan is like being the only girl in a CS class--the two sexes are kept very separate and only meet for sex, which is a mystery because Japan is only just now considering sex education. And I don't know why I don't hang out with girls more here in the States.
But I worry. If I make it into game design, will I ever escape the old boys' club? Will I be able to find cool people to hang out with? Or will I always be surrounded by people who are even more socially awkward than myself?
I am sick of the male perspective. I am also sick of not being able to talk about my problems without the other person trying to solve them. I really miss my little sister. We talk on LJ but I wish I got to see her more often. I also really miss two of my girl friends from Japan last year-- who knows if we'll meet up again but they were great (feminine but with gender neutral or even masculine interests). Anna was always telling me she wanted to either be a boy or run away to an island of only women. I don't blame her; being a tomboy in Japan is like being the only girl in a CS class--the two sexes are kept very separate and only meet for sex, which is a mystery because Japan is only just now considering sex education. And I don't know why I don't hang out with girls more here in the States.
But I worry. If I make it into game design, will I ever escape the old boys' club? Will I be able to find cool people to hang out with? Or will I always be surrounded by people who are even more socially awkward than myself?
Full Access to All
Great way to support me! Full access to all previous and future exclusive content. All my galleries will add new images periodically, don't miss it!
$25/month
On Fan Art: Learning to Love It More
On Fan Art (Personal Rules and Reframing the Shame of Making Fan Art at All)
Japanese language uses the phrase “Tsumaranaimono desu ga…” — “It’s a boring, small, meaningless gesture, but…” [I hope you can find it in your hardest of hearts to like worthless little old nuisance me in all my obnoxiousness anyway?] I wish the people I draw fan art for spoke Japanese, because then they would instantly understand exactly how I feel if I actually give someone a picture I drew of them.
The only thing worse than fan art is wondering if you should or shouldn’t take the time to draw fan art. For
Devious Journal Entry
Oh, sometimes I write and other times I draw stuff.
I finished an art degree and realized I am not doing the things you need to do to make a career out of art.
So now I mostly write stuff.
I'll be back when I design more things that are worth posting or selling. Or which sell or promote other people's stuff. That's probably better with my art.
Art skills on indefinite hiatus.
Still trying to figure myself out. The gallery remains to remind me what I can do when I am motivated.
Current Activity/ Sketch offer
This is the backlog of projects I want to do but for whatever reason I haven't finished yet:
1. Silvervistani - a woman or girl with candy [started sketching]
2. Aracid -- a satyr pursuing a nymph [decided to turn it into pixel art. half done with lines.]
3. Myself -- A RACE OF ATOMIC SUPER BEES!!! [not yet]
4. Myself -- Akkorokamui [not yet]
5. Myself -- GTA style character art of a female drug lord [not yet]
6. Myself -- cartoon self-portrait at age 15 [mostly finished]
7. Myself -- Panda pixel art [not yet]
8. Myself -- animated avatar [needs to be animated]
9. forum friends -- mermaids in the gloaming
10. forum friends -- Battl
© 2007 - 2024 euphoriafish
Comments2
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Sadly, the illustrative world is still strongly on the male side for some weird reason. But don't worry. There are plenty of nerdy girls around to be friends with.